Me July 2014                                                Me August 2026

Then and now. Where have the years gone? I lost Carla August 2016. I lost Chris April 2023. I miss them both so much, it truly is a physical pain I live with everyday. Where am I going? How much longer for me and what is next? Life changes so much and so fast.

I'm still trying to keep busy which isn't hard. There is a lot I need to do and I just keep putting it off. I need to work on my yard. Weeding and shit that I hate to do. I need to deep clean my house. Again it's shit I hate doing. I just paid $12,000 for a new backyard. It does look nice but I'm not into working in the dirt, hate getting my hands dirty! Same reason I hate doing housework. Go figure.

It's a Saturday and I've just fucked off all day. I've been drinking and I'm thinking of getting stoned. Some things never change I guess. 

I'm still having "fun" or obsession with my dolls. It's a creative outlet for me. I sure wish I had done something more creative with my life instead of settling for a soul life sucking job at the local utility. Lots of things I wish I had done. But always Chris - I would always choose Chris.

 

 

I swear to God I have the worst time trying to arrange these damn pictures! This is a picture of me as a drag queen. Not too bad!

So damn! I started listening to Sombr about a month ago. He's my latest obsession. Cue the music "I wish I had Know You When I was Younger" Revivalists

Well Shit! He's so beautiful but so damn young. 21 - I feel so dirty lusting after him. It's just wrong. But WTF?????? I got tickets for his concert in October. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???????